


c’mon cadets I’ve seen dust bunnies scarier than you

by driedupwishes



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Alternate Universe - Future, Ereri Week 2015, M/M, cleaning day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-09
Updated: 2015-09-09
Packaged: 2018-04-19 21:06:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4761026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/driedupwishes/pseuds/driedupwishes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There’s an extra training lecture needed once you join the Survey Corps. And that lecture is given by Humanity’s Hope himself.</p><p>With such an important teacher, the cadets really expected more than a rundown on how to clean the castle, but unfortunately that’s just what they got. And it only gets stranger when Commander Levi himself shows up as well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	c’mon cadets I’ve seen dust bunnies scarier than you

“Alright, cadets,” Eren said, clasping his hands behind his back. Behind him Jean and Sasha stood with the two other squad leaders, quiet as he surveyed their new squads with narrowed eyes. Every year their haul of kids dying to see the outside world got a little bigger and every year Eren’s chest got a little tighter at the sight of them. He figured that was what getting old meant in their world; looking at teenagers still in their Training Corps jackets and feeling hollow, inside and out. The thirty-two teenagers seated in front of him shifted, glancing between themselves with raised eyebrows and whispered murmurs, all skeptical at this sudden and unannounced extra training lecture. Eren had to bite back his grin, sucking on the inside of his cheek as he let them squirm, just a bit.

“You _may_ be wondering why you’ve been brought here today,” Eren started. There was out right outrage on at least two faces at the tone he took with them, one reminiscent of Aurou at his most frustrating. Eren had realized early on why his old squad mate had been so insist on making him squirm; it was admittedly a little amusing. Eren only used it sparingly though, because he still remembered how annoying it was, but on the flip side now he could torment Jean as well as the kids and that, well, that was too good to pass up.

"You’ve been brought here because there was something important your training missed,” Eren continued, eventually, when he felt like it. There was one kid in the back in particular who looked like he was going to come out of his chair if Eren didn’t get on with it, which was half the reason he was taking even longer than usual with his introduction. It was also partially because Jean had told him a very detailed list over everything he wanted to cover today with his squad and he _knew_ the bastard was behind him seething right now.

“ _You’re kidding me_ ,” one of the kids hissed. The rest echoed the sentiment with their expressions, which ranged from dubious to murderous. From behind him Jean cleared his throat, making it clear that if Eren didn’t get a move on he _would_ , and Eren rolled his eyes, shifting his weight and moving to cross his arms over his chest. The room quieted at the action and Eren bit back a smile, selfishly enjoying the way his presence could cause such a reaction. 

“No, I am _not_ kidding you,” Eren said, addressing that kid in particular. Their shoulders hunched up to ears, their cheeks went pink, and Eren could have laughed but didn’t. This was serious business, what he was doing; it was as important to him as reclaiming the wall had been back when he was in their shoes. He pursed his lips and shifted again, lifting his chin as he addressed the real reason they were all here.

“Today, you will be learning how to keep the castle tidy and clean,” he said, voice ringing through the suddenly silent room. Behind him he could have sworn he heard Sasha muffle a laugh as their thirty-two cadets all gaped at him, soundless and horrified.

 

-

 

Levi was glaring at the pile of papers on his desk, wondering where they had come from. Hanji had probably delivered them when he’d left to go find food, which was just sick and twisted of them, as usual. He’d been so relieved to have finished it all for the day and now that relief had been taken from him. It was enough to make him miss the days where he’d only had a handful of shithead teenagers to keep track of.

He sighed and grabbed the corner of the stack of papers, pulling them closer. They were all pointless, in the end, but their section of the military was the biggest now and that, apparently, meant huge amounts of paperwork that Historia assured him almost every week needed to be done. The public liked them, had for years, but to keep it that way they needed updates and forms filled out, detailing what the Survey Corps was doing with the money they were given, how they were utterly and absolutely not corrupt or lax in their ways. His only solace was that he knew for a fact Nile had even more paperwork to fill out in the Military Police branch, more forms and files and records made public to show that they had reformed completely from their once despicable ways.

There was hardly even a dent in the stack of papers when there was a quiet, timid knock on the door. Levi settled back in his chair, rolling his neck until it cracked, relieved at the break. “Come in,” he called, voice hoarse; he hadn’t spoken to anyone since dawn, holed up in his office to get this shit done. The door swung open on silent hinges, revealing one of soldiers from the batch of recruits from six years before.

“Anton,” Levi said, clearing his throat and nodding toward the chair in front of his desk. The solider rocked on his toes, but shook his head.

“Nothing official, sir,” Anton promised, shoulders ease and a smile lurking in his eyes that wasn’t reflected on his mouth. The solider had been with them long enough that Levi trusted him, but there was something about that expression that put him on alert. Anton was on Hanji’s squad and had picked up a few too many of their habits, if Levi was being honest with himself.

“Spit it out,” Levi said, voice more of a snap. He didn’t apologize and Anton didn’t flinch, so he knew there was no harm done. If anything the smile in his eyes started to finally creep to hip lips.

“We thought you might want to know, Eren’s kidnapped the latest batch of cadets and is giving them the castle cleaning speech right now in the lecture hall downstairs.”

 _Ah_ , Levi thought, relaxing a little. _That_ was what the expression was for; no new paperwork, nothing bad, just Eren. He eased back into his chair, not having realized he had tensed, and ignored the heat that crept into his cheeks the same way he ignored the snicker the solider let out.

“Well, Eren does have the most kidnapping experience around here,” Levi muttered, ignoring as well that all of Eren experience lay in _being_ kidnapped. He was glad that section of their history had _stayed_ history, at least. Anton snickered again, despite the kidnapping disasters being before his time. Levi rolled his eyes and waved his hands. “Noted and dismissed. Thank you for this useless information, Anton.”

“Useless my ass,” Anton muttered and before Levi could snap about insubordination he was gone, door closing behind him with a soft muted click. Levi was left scowling at the closed door the same way he’d been left scowling at the paperwork on his desk. After a minute of scowling he shoved away from the desk, chair scraping against the ground, and crossed the room in only a few strides.

The paperwork was left, forgotten on his desk. It didn’t have to be done until tomorrow anyway.

 

-

 

The lecture room downstairs had two doors, one in the front, by the desk where the squad leaders stood to teach the cadets about their formations and protocols, and one in the back, which was mostly hidden, unused, and locked. Levi considered using the latter door to remain unnoticed but in the end he passed the door by the front of the room first and stopped there instead. Faintly he could hear the rise and fall of the voice speaking, though not the words, but as he stepped forward and opened the door on silent hinges they became clear as day.

“Dusting,” Eren was saying, arms crossed as he faced down the horde of teenagers in front of him, all looking like they couldn’t believe what was happening. Levi bit the inside of his cheek on a laugh, because at least three of the cadets were face down on the tables, arms twitching with every word like they were being tortured. Over dramatic, just the way teenagers always were about cleaning.

Or, well, almost every teenager, Levi though, watching Eren shift his weight and roll his broad shoulders as he detailed how, exactly, dusting needed to be done. The explanation was almost ten minutes long, Levi knew, and he settled against the doorway to watch as it was given. Only the squad leaders seemed to notice his presence immediately, Sasha glancing at him with a grin while Jean gave him a wide eyed look of a man dying. The other two, both from Anton’s year, only glanced at him and then away, going back to scanning the kids for trouble without a word.

Eren didn’t get very far into his section on dusting before the kids started noticing Levi in the doorway. It started with just one girl, who elbowed her neighbor, who tapped his neighbor, and before Eren had even finished his sentence thirty-two heads were tipped his way, eyes wide with surprise and a few bright with hope.

They think I’m here to save them, Levi realized. He had to bite his tongue to keep from laughing at that thought as Eren finally got fed up with his distracted audience and turned to see what was causing the upheaval.

Levi tried not to smile when Eren’s eyes met his, but he failed. Eren’s lips twitched in surprise, the annoyance dropping from his face so easily Levi’s chest felt tight. The kids behind Eren were a distant shifting murmuring that Levi only barely noticed, caught up in green eyes and the twitching smile blooming on familiar lips.

“Why Commander,” Sasha interjected, bold as the path of her arrows, cutting right through their little moment. “How nice of you to join us!”

“Sasha,” Jean hissed. Levi barely resisted the urge to roll his eyes at his old squad as he turned to face them, Sasha grinning cheekily and Jean looking sour. Eren made a low huffing noise in the back of his throat as he threw a dirty look her way, crossing his arms over his chest and rolling his neck.

“Mhm,” Levi hummed, acknowledging the grinning woman without rising to the bait. He glanced again at Eren, noting the kids behind him, curious and wide eyed. He hadn’t seen them yet this year, since he’d pawned the recruitment speech off on Hanji, so he knew they must be curious about him. Eren always said his arm’s length approach at recruitment made him the buzz of gossip in the first week and it appeared this batch was no different. Next time maybe he’d go to the recruitment speech, though he’d still probably make Eren do the talking. No one seemed to be properly inspired by his speeches.

“I was just telling them how proper dusting is very important,” Eren said cheekily, the little shit. Levi felt his chest constrict at the warmth he could see in Eren’s eyes and he tried not to let it show, how tingles traced his spine at the sight of Eren’s grin. “Would you like to give this part of the lecture, sir?”

 _Cocky little_ -

“You’ve seem to have everything covered, from what I heard,” Levi muttered. There was a wash of disbelief among the kids as they seemed to realize that Levi wasn’t here to free them from the clutches of the lecture on proper castle maintenance. Levi hated to break it to them, but not even the Queen herself could have freed them from Eren’s grip.

“You’re kidding me,” one of the kids hissed. “You’re fucking kidding me, is this an actual thing? We have to learn how to _lean the stupid castle_?”

Levi looked at Jean, briefly, and hoped that pain in the ass teenager was his. The way Jean’s face twisted, part embarrassment, part annoyance, told him they were.

“Oi,” Jean snapped, stepping forward until he was just behind Eren’s shoulder. He glared the speaker down, his own chin lifting as the kid’s head ducked to his chest. “Watch your mouth or haven’t you been listening? Cleaning the castle we’re stationed in right now is important and there _will_ be repercussions if you do not meet the standards we uphold here.”

Shocked silence rang through the air. Levi pressed his lips together to keep from snickering but Eren made no move to hide the wide grin he wore as Jean stepped back, crossed his arms as he leant back against the wall. Sasha’s snickering was just barely audible through her hand and the other two wore faint smiles tucked into the corners of their mouths. Eren shifted, stepping around until he was in front of the desks behind which the squad leaders stood, and then he settled, oh so delicately, on the edge of the table.

Levi didn’t twitch at the sight of Eren, broad shouldered and tall, perched on the desk so casually but it was close. He did twitch, however, when Eren turned that grin on him, shoulders slumping into a loose slope that was more than familiar to him.

“Come on, _Commander_ ,” Eren said, eyes warm and bright. “Your speech on dusting is _much_ better than mine.”

 _Horseshit_ , Levi thought. But when his options were paperwork, a crick in his neck, and hours alone or this lecture hall with its open windows and Eren at his elbow, he didn’t really have a choice. He hadn’t seen Eren since dawn, when they’d parted, and he wasn’t quite ready to part again so soon.

“Dusting,” Levi said, pushing off the doorway. Sasha moved to step forward and close the door behind him as he marched around the table, crossing his arms over his chest as he eyed his audience doubtfully. Eren lounged on the table just at his side while the kids gaped, their expressions filling with true horror as he continued with, “is _hard fucking work_. You have to be prepared to stop wearing your ass as a hat and really put your effort to making sure you don’t just spread that shit around.”

 

 

-

 

 

The lecture, in the end, went well. The kids seemed to – eventually – buckle down and take shit seriously enough to ask questions and actively engage in how they should upkeep their new home. It was strange to interact with the cadets so much, but it wasn’t bad.

It was a little annoying when, at the end of the day, one girl muttered, “so that’s why the commander never gives the recruitment speech,” loudly enough for everyone to hear.

She had the good taste to look at least embarrassed at being heard. Eren, however, had no sense of shame as he laughed, loud enough that it rang throughout the room, leaving Levi with heat in his cheeks but a clench in his chest that lingered on throughout the night as Eren followed him back to the office to help with his paperwork.

“You should help with all the speeches around here,” Eren teased him as he halved the stack of papers and settled into the chair opposite Levi’s desk. He had dragged it back into his usual position, close enough that Levi could lean over the table and touch him, if he wanted to.

“You just want an excuse to lounge around while I talk myself hoarse,” Levi muttered, rolling his eyes and reaching for his pen. Eren laughed, shaking his head, eyes sparkling at him from across the lamp light.

“Nah,” Eren denied, “I just like listening to you talk. Plus there are better ways I can think of to get you all hoarse.”

Levi rolled his eyes to hide how his heart lurched for the ridiculous man across from him. Eren laughed, eyes crinkling in the corner, and the sound was so warm and clean Levi couldn’t resist leaning over the table and kissing him quickly before settling back in his seat.

“Thank you,” Levi said, voice a little thick with emotion. He didn’t mean it just for the paperwork either.

Eren smiled at him, settling back into his chair so that their legs kncoked together and tangled underneath the desk. "Anything for you,” he promised quietly, and then he set to work. Levi folded suit, ducking his head as he pressed his knee against Eren’s with a warmth in his chest.

**Author's Note:**

> not really related to yesterday's fic, tho they do share a few key elements. what can I say though, I'm a sucker for commander levi and eren impressing/terrorizing the new cadets lmao. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed! C:


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